Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture! Or Not.

The other day, my wife made a keen observation:

"You seem to be writing a movie script every time you write a book."

She put the finger on a big problem with me and just about everyone who writes fiction today:

We think about the chance, however remote, of somebody someday making a motion picture based on what we wrote.

The sad fact is that this is a fool's dream. And such fantasies do not improve the quality of the writing.

Someone, I forget who, pointed out that Dan Brown's writing style is to write his novels as if the author was holding the camera and shooting the movie.

Sad Fact #2: Dan Brown's writing style sucks.

Consider: What if motion pictures did not exist?

Consider: What if novels would have to stand on their own merits and not use the movie medium as a conceptual crutch?

Consider: What are the strengths and weaknesses of literary prose ON ITS OWN?

Yes, yes, I know that we live in a culture suffused by moving pictures... how could this not affect our thinking? I'm not suggesting you should throw out your TV set, your PC,
your Nintendo Wii, your DVD player and go live in a cave.

But still: There are things you can express better in words than with pictures, if only you know how.

That's why poetry exists. That's why a single string of words, when put together well, can be remembered for thousands of years.

Aim high. Why be Dan Brown, when you could be Shakespeare?

Website Update: BLOOD & SWINE, THE TIME IDIOT, DARC AGES

My new official website will be updated once a week with new content -- mainly chapters of the "rebooted" serial DARC AGES, but also sample chapters of my unpublished novels THE TIME IDIOT and BLOOD AND SWINE.

Choice quotes from this week's update:
-------------------------------------------

The little boy Carl got a pet piglet to keep on the farm, and named it Prosi after the Polish word for "piglet." Carl fed, bathed and tended that pig with more devotion than most children would spend on their dogs.

Predictably, this ended in tears and bacon.
(From BLOOD & SWINE)

-------------------------------------------

"Mr. Hitler?" asked Prescott and uncorked the bottle, labeled with a skull and crossbones, which he had found in the physician's office. "Uh... Herr Hitler?"

"Ja? Was ist los?"

(From THE TIME IDIOT)
--------------------------------------------

Must-Read Ashok Banker Interview

On the World SF News Blog, this must-read interview with the bestselling Indian author Ashok Banker.

Choice quotes:
"People sometimes assume that writers write and readers read to escape from reality; in my case, it was always the other way around. My home life was so surreal, so dark-fantastic, that I read and wrote to stay real. I was afraid I might vanish like a fading grin upon a tree branch, so I quickly carved my initials with a pocketknife."

"To be honest, I’ve all but given up on getting published anywhere outside India and have stopped trying. The system itself is designed in such a way that it’s become all about pleasing agents and editors, not about writers talking to readers directly."

I'm in awe of this guy.

Also check out Ashok Banker's website/blog. And buy one of his books, will you?

BLOOD & SWINE - Prologue

OK, this is it:
the Prologue of my unpublished, unsold vampire novel BLOOD & SWINE: A Comedy of Terrors.

I've read the whole novel out loud to my wife. She liked it. I hope you will -- and that the novel will eventually find a publisher.

BLOOD & SWINE is my first attempt to write a vampire story of any kind. From the start I set out to combine humor and horror, because the genres are very closely related.
(We laugh at what makes us anxious; horror is always on the verge of being ridiculous.)
Also, my favorite vampire movie is FRIGHT NIGHT.

But I couldn't just ape every cliché you'll find in other vampire stories. Before I could write anything at all, I had to seriously think about what vampires mean, both what they are supposed to be and be "about."

For instance: is a vampire really nothing more than a ghoul, an animated corpse? Then what makes it different from a zombie?

If a vampire is supposed to lack a "soul," then how do you define this state in a way that doesn't make the concept of "soul" meaningless?
(Think: If a humanoid being shows all the telltale signs of conscious intelligent behavior -- it speaks, it reasons, it makes plans -- then on what grounds can you claim, "This is not a human being"? Because just saying so is not enough. You have to point out the difference between being human and only apparently human.)

So I had to create a "plausible" and entertaining explanation of how a vampire is -- or can be -- "apparently human."
This also ruled out any sort of "romantic" vampire. I mean, a being which is essentially non-human but pretends to be one of us is, frankly, a shit-scary notion.

I had to avoid creative pitfalls. If you can't make up your mind about where your fictional monster "comes from," you risk losing focus: the story gets too confused.

For example: Ever seen the 1985 movie THE SPACE VAMPIRES (a.k.a. LIFEFORCE)...? It's entertaining as a spectacle, but on the idea level it's a complete mess.

The scriptwriters are flailing in all directions at once: the vampires suck out the "life force"(soul??) of its victims and they are also space aliens traveling in a giant spaceship and they look like giant bats and some of them look like sexy naked women and they turn people into the walking dead and one human has a Special Bond to the sexy naked vampire and...

I decided that my vampires shouldn't be something as simplistic as space aliens or ghouls. (Besides, aliens are not scary.)

So with some effort, I figured out my own twist on "where the vampire comes from," which I hope hasn't been used too many times before. The vampires of BLOOD & SWINE will -- hopefully -- leave an unpleasant lingering anxiety in the reader's mind long after she has finished reading my story...

...because if a horror story (even a humorous one) won't disturb the reader, then what good is it? ;-)

Selling BLOOD & SWINE: A Comedy of Terrors

As you know, Bob, I have already started posting sample chapters of my unsold novel THE TIME IDIOT on my website, trying to attract publishers and/or agents.
(Don't laugh -- it has worked in the past.)

Very soon I will also begin to post a limited number of sample chapters from my unsold vampire novel BLOOD & SWINE: A Comedy of Terrors.

(Check back on my official website to find out more, around next week.)

Note that this is being done at the same time as I'm sending BLOOD & SWINE as a manuscript submission to a publisher.

Why is that? Because there's no point in a writer being secretive or patient. While you wait for a major publisher to wade through the slush pile, you know that the odds of being rejected are close to 100%.

If you have written a book, and have a blog to tell the world about it, don't hesitate to market your work hard -- because who else will do it for you?

I understand that many writers are not necessarily salesmen by nature, but in this day and age it won't help you to be shy about your work.

Website Update Oct.12, 2009: DARC AGES, THE TIME IDIOT & TERRA HEXA

My new official website has been updated with new reading content. Visit the site's Main Index for more information.

I have also created a presentation page for my most recent, unsold vampire novel: BLOOD & SWINE. (Sample chapters will be posted there soon. So if you like vampires, horror and humor, this might be for you.)

Holt On "DIY Authors"

The blog Holt Uncensored has posted an inspiring article about authors who use free podcasts to market their unsold novels -- check it out:

Holt Uncensored: "The DIY Author - What To Do When the Mainstream Yawns: Part 1"

I'll definitely try and make more podcasts of my fiction -- though I think it's rather difficult to pull off.
(You try creating a quiet recording studio at home when you've got a wife and child! ;-))

Here are some short podcasts I made of my work in the past.

New Cover Art For Rebooted DARC AGES Web Serial

For my new website aryngve.com, I am restarting several features from the old homepage -- so that I can make over and improve the page layout.

The Web serial DARC AGES, for example, is rebooted -- with a more user-friendly design and this new cover art:

New Domain Name and Website: aryngve.com

I have now dismantled and closed my old homepage (http://yngve.bravehost.com) and deleted all its content (short stories, samples, serials, novels, artwork etc.).

Most of said content will be moved (over time) onto my new website and domain name aryngve.com .

Some of the new website is already up and running, so have a look. You will find that it's easier to navigate -- especially the fiction samples have been given a complete re-design, as in this example: Sample page from THE TIME IDIOT

Enjoy...

Hauling Homepage!

Hear ye! Hear ye!

My old homepage
http://yngve.bravehost.com
(A.K.A. "The A.R.Yngve Homepage Featuring Read My Books For Free")
has - finally - reached its free disk space limit. I can no longer update that site without paying for it.

So I've decided to dismantle and close it down - for good.
Most of its content shall be moved to a new personal website and domain name:
http://aryngve.com

As I have to pay real money for this domain (unlike the old, free homepage with pop-up ads), I'll have to figure out how much of its content is going to be available for free, and how much is going to be posted only as limited samples.*

So: Rest in peace, A.R.Yngve's "Read My Books For Free" website (1999-2009). You began as a free homepage with a now-defunct website provider - I can't even remember the original URL! - and then moved on to another URL, until you settled at Bravenet.com for many, many years.

But now the time has come to lay you to rest, and get a proper domain name.

(* Much of the free content on my old homepage is available as Print-on-Demand through CafePress.)

Just To Get Your Writing Mojo Going...

... try this nifty little inspirational Story Generator.