British writer and humorist Dave Langford invented "Thog's Masterclass" as an ongoing showcase of (unintentionally) hilarious prose quotes from science fiction and fantasy books.
Normally a standing feature of Langford's SF newsletter/webzine ANSIBLE, "Thog's Masterclass " has also been presented in his SFX Magazine column, and as live presentations at several SF/Fantasy conventions.
This page contains a text transcript of the live presentation of Thog's Masterclass.
The fascinating thing about these snippets of comically inept fiction-writing is that they are lifted from printed novels released by major publishers, even written by world-famous authors. As Langford puts it, "Every author, even Terry Pratchett, gives hostages to Thog."
No Big Name is spared in quotes such as these:
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- Robert Heinlein sensitively describes a kiss from the female viewpoint in The Number of the Beast: 'Our teeth grated, and my nipples went spung!'
- Isaac Asimov in 'Satisfaction Guaranteed': 'She looked away, then let him slide gently into the corner of her eye.'
- Brian Aldiss demonstrates his knowledge of arcane geography in Remembrance Day: 'She wore large bronze earrings made in an obscure country which rattled when she laughed.'
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Is there a lesson to be learned here? Well, apart from Nobody's Perfect So Get Over It, I'm not sure... ;)
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