POX News, March 23:
GOP National Campaign HQ, Washington, D.C. - During a conference signaling the start of the run-up to the 2010 Midterm Elections for the U.S. Congress, tentacled politician Nurglon (r) interrupted the GOP party chairman to make the following declaration:
Nurglon: THIS DITHERING HAS GONE ON FOR LONG ENOUGH. I HEREBY ASSUME FULL COMMAND OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. STEELE!! COME HERE, YOU.
Nurglon paused to devour a screaming Michael Steele (r), and continued:
N: I HEREBY DECREE! FROM NOW ON, THE ORGANIZATION FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SHALL BE NAMED THE RAGE PARTY.
POX News correspondent Sarah Tannin: What's your party program, Nurglon?
N: PROGRAM? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' PROGRAM! THE RAGE PARTY SHALL HAVE ONE GOAL ONLY: DESTROY!! REPEAT AFTER ME: DESTROY!! SAY IT LOUD, I'M ANGRY AND PROUD!
Attendant party members, some waving Confederate flags and nooses, then joined Nurglon in a 5-minute "Destroy!" chanting session.
Several overexcited attendants were injured from biting each other.