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Monday, October 20, 2008

Nurglon Declares 30% Of America "Un-America", Calls For Purge


In a recent blitz of open-air rallies across rural America, Presidential/Vice Presidential candidate Nurglon (r) has launched the concept of "Un-America."

At Nurglon's most recent small-town appearance in Rottenville, a POX News' reporter heard the following speech:

Nurglon: THIS! IS! AMERICA!!

(Crowd cheers)

N: ON THE COASTLINES, IN THE BIG CITIES, LIES... UN-AMERICA! CITIES THAT ARE ELITIST, HARD-HEARTED... AND HARD TO CHEW!

(Crowd boos)

N: WHEN I AM ELECTED PRESIDENT, I SHALL ORDER MY FIVE MILLION YOUNG TO EAT UN-AMERICA! WITH A SIDE ORDER OF SOCIALISM!

(Crowd gives standing ovation)

N: AND THEN THIS GREAT NATION SHALL BE PERFECT AGAIN, FOLKS! YOU BETCHA!

In related news: after the abovementioned rally, central Rottenville was burned down by overzealous Nurglon supporters while they tried to ignite an effigy of Barack Obama. According to witnesses, the effigy was carried out of the fire unscathed.
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