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Monday, October 06, 2008

Nurglon Denies Having Eaten John McCain

POX News, Oct. 6: During a recent political rally, POX News asked Presidential and Vice Presidential candidate Nurglon (r) about the mysterious disappearance of John McCain, whom Nurglon replaced after having replaced Sarah Palin.

Sean Inannity: Nurglon, I'll be frank with you. Did you eat John McCain?

Nurglon: NO! NO! GOSH GOLDARN IT, NO.

S: Are you sure?

N: HE'S A HECKUVA TOUGH OLD MAN. THAT'D BE LIKE EATING AN OLD SHOE WITH THE STRINGS ON. HE'D TASTE GOSHDARN AWFUL, AND THAT'S THE PLAIN TRUTH.

S: Seems your speech has become increasingly afflicted with "folksiness." Is this going down well with core conservative voters and hockey moms?

N: BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP NURG...! I MEAN, GOSH! YEAH! I'M DOWN WITH THEM HOCKEY MOMS. Y'ALL.

S: And how do you respond to the close poll numbers? Do they worry you?

N: I DON'T BOW DOWN TO THEM ELITE TYPES WITH THEIR HIGH-FALUTIN' STATS AND NUMBERS AND WHATNOT. FRIENDS.

S: Well, you certainly still have strong support in the South and the heartland.

N: RIVERS OF BLO... I MEAN, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A SOFT SPOT FOR OL' DIXIE. NOW BOW DOWN TO NURGLON, Y'HEAR?

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