Tuesday, March 15, 2016

"Darc Ages - De mörka tidevarven" säljs nu på Bokus.com!

Nu säljs böckerna i trilogin "Darc Ages - De mörka tidevarven" för bara 117 kr styck på Bokus.com:
http://www.bokus.com/bok/9789187711619/uppvaknandet/
http://www.bokus.com/bok/9789187711626/odemarkens-barn/
http://www.bokus.com/bok/9789187711633/slaget-om-framtiden/
Böckerna är i storpocketformat, med många konstfulla illustrationer i svartvitt och gråtoner.

Skriver du bokrecensioner och önskar beställa recensionexemplar? Kontakta då Wela Förlag.

Vill du veta mer om DARC AGES? Om du råkar vara i Oslo på torsdag den 17:e mars, håller jag ett föredrag om trilogin för science fiction-föreningen Aniara...

... eller läs denna intervju där jag berättar om trilogin, på nättidskriften Barrikaden.

Monday, March 14, 2016

Intervju i webbmagasinet Barrikaden

Intervju i Barrikaden: "Fansen har makten att låta 'Darc Ages' leva eller dö"

Citat:
---------------------------
Beskriv handlingen i trilogin?
– Huvudpersonen låter frysa ner sig levande när han fått obotlig cancer. Han blir återuppväckt i framtiden och botad – men då har det gått 900 år, och världen har hamnat i en slags retro-medeltid där han måste överleva och finna sitt öde… och han får namnet ”Darc”.

– Hela historien är illustrerad – jag var serietecknare innan jag slog mig på att skriva prosa. Detta är en ”publikfriare” med massor av action och äventyr, romantik, drama, nattsvarta skurkar, ädla hjältar och hjältinnor, talande robotar, hemska monster, tragiska mutanter och en hälsosam dos humor.

Riktar den sig till någon särskild målgrupp?
– Tonåringar i alla åldrar. Om du gillar ”Star Wars” men är redo för någonting lite mer vuxet, så är ”Darc Ages” definitivt för dig. Och berättelsens ”retro-medeltid” kanske faller ”Game of Thrones”-fansen i smaken.
Uppslag från en av böckerna.
Den har getts ut på webben tidigare eller var är den publicerad innan?
– Först kom trilogin som illustrerad engelsk följetong på webben, 1999-2000. Sedan gav jag ut den själv på engelska — först som Print-on-Demand, sedan som e-bok på Amazon.com. Först förra året började jag översätta den till svenska. Snacka om att ta en lång omväg mot målet…
---------------------------
Läs hela intervjun här.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

"DARC AGES - De mörka tidevarven" pocketutgåvan kom i posten idag...

DARC AGES - De mörka tidevarven pocketutgåvan kom i posten idag... och så här ser den ut:

Den digitala tidsåldern i all ära... men det är en alldeles speciell känsla att se sina egna ord (och bilder) på tryckt papper.
Hela trilogin DARC AGES - De mörka tidevarven säljs nu på Adlibris. (Om du är en snåljåp som jag, be ditt lokala bibliotek att köpa in böckerna!)

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

DARC AGES - De Mörka Tidevarven -- trilogin nu ute på Adlibris.se och Bokliv.se!

Idag släpptes min illustrerade trilogi DARC AGES - De Mörka Tidevarven på nätbokhandlarna Adlibris och Bokliv.

I skrivande stund har Adlibris det billigaste erbjudandet för den häftade storpocketversionen:
- 128 kr per bok (OBS: inte hela trilogin)
- fri frakt för privatpersoner 
- skickas inom 5‑7 vardagar
http://www.adlibris.com/se/bok/uppvaknandet-9789187711619
 Så vad handlar den här trilogin om änna då? Jag ska berätta mer om den på denna blogg, så kom tillbaka....
 

Tuesday, March 08, 2016

"DARC AGES - De Mörka Tidevarven" pocketutgåvan släpps idag!

 Från och med idag kan den tryckta illustrerade storpocket-utgåvan av DARC AGES - De Mörka Tidevarven beställas från Ord & Bok.

Romanens många illustrationer (i svartvitt med gråtoner) kommer till sin rätt i detta format. Här följer några smakprov på dem...
3 illustrationer från DARC AGES - De Mörka Tidevarven
Här beställer du trilogin som storpocket:
Första Boken: Uppvaknandet
Andra Boken: Ödemarkens Barn
Tredje Boken: Slaget om Framtiden

E-bokutgåvan kommer Mycket Snart...

Sunday, March 06, 2016

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Nick Mamatas: "Beware The Wineglass-Shaped Story"

Some good advice about story structure.

Choice quote:
----------------------
First there is generally a long sentence about the setting. A character can be introduced right away, that's for sure. But the character is primarily there to think about the setting. So to better explain it to the audience, you see. All the senses are engaged, as is the writing-class rule. Then finally, dialogue.
Short elliptical sentences of dialogue.
A tiny bit of action.
Some more.
Yeah?
Ok.
Then it picks up a bit again.
The setting becomes important, something is discovered.
Then, there is a finger-wagging moral, or a piquant little turn of phrase. Thus, you know that the author has decided to stop writing. The story stops rather than ends.
----------------------

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Will Nurglon Be The New Republican Contender For 2012?

After the coming and going of one GOP contender after another, angry old white racist voters are feeling increasingly frustrated with their shrinking options. Where is the candidate who gives voice to their fears, their phobias, their dementia, their deepest darkest urges?

Ladies and gentlemen, the Great White Hope is still waiting for another shot at the brass ring. I give you... NURGLON in 2012:

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Joanna Russ: "Dirty Wordies, or, The Fiendish Thingie"

A big thank you to the blog future_of_feminism for posting this speech by the late, great Joanna Russ: 
"Dirty Wordies, or, The Fiendish Thingie" (1969)

There are so many quotable lines in this speech about writing and "taboo" words. Here are but a few:
----------------------
"There is a fashionable idea around today -- maybe I should not call it an idea, for I hardly think it attains to the complexity of real thinking -- there is this confused notion, then, that anger is somehow sacred, rage is holy, and you are justified in doing anything you please as long as you are angry enough -- and angry at the right targets, that is, at the currently fashionable targets. 
I do not agree. Being shocked is not in itself a good thing for people; on the contrary, it is a distinctly unpleasant experience, and the writer who shocks you on the grounds that it's good for people to be shocked is like the writer who hits you over the head with a brick on the grounds that it's good for people to be hit on the head now and then, and anyhow, he enjoys it." 

"One of the most annoying things in the world is the way dirty words can distract people from anything else -- when a reader gets shocked at a dirty wordie, he stops paying attention to the plot, to the characters, to the mood, to the theme, to everything. 
The dirty word is a little bomb that explodes and scatters the work of art in all directions."

"The whole effort of literary art is to make things speakable. Nothing should be unspeakable or unnameable. That's what language is for -- to name things."
-----------------------
Read the rest. I implore you.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Heinlein's Rules Of Writing, Deconstructed

 You may have heard of Heinlein's Rules, coined by Robert A. Heinlein:

1. You must write.
2. You must finish what you start.
3. You must refrain from rewriting except to editorial order.
4. You must put it on the market.
5. You must keep it on the market until sold.

Now, the blogger at Scrivener's Error (recommended as a beacon of sanity in a crazy world) picks apart these rules -- and I'd like to quote his/her conclusions:
-------------------
The key assumption that Heinlein makes — and it alters the meaning of each of the five rules, but these two [Rules 3 and 5] more than most — is that "You, as a writer, must already have a commercially valued, consistent brand and identity before you can effectively apply the following rules."

That is, the rules work only for writers whose shopping lists scribbled on napkins have commercial value due to their authorship.

That's not to say that there's no value at all in these rules, even for beginning writers; only that they require application of some artistic sense and literary and commercial analysis.

At some point, when too many readers are expressing the same sort of problem with your manuscript, it needs to be rewritten. At some point, it makes no commercial sense to continue circulating a manuscript that is not getting licensure offers.

-----------
(Read the rest)

Valid points, all. In fact, lots of very successful writers are not writing perfect books -- but they are doing enough things "right" to be readable and accessible to a wider audience.

How do you know when your writing is "good enough"? Tricky question, that one. I can only suggest the trite cliches "learn from your mistakes" and "practice makes perfect" -- trite, but true.

It also helps to have a clear, original vision. "Vision" is the theme that drives your writing. Writing itself may be a search to define and sharpen your personal vision. Is there a formula?

Maybe a little something like this:

Author's Vision + formal writing skill + Thorough Work + Luck = Success


Note that the above formula doesn't say when your work will be successful. Do you have lots of patience? Not all writers do, but most successful ones have lots of it -- and boy, does it help:

-------------------
After Stephen King had Carrie rejected by 30 different publishers he dumped pig's blood all over the publishers. No, I'm just kidding. Stephen King did throw Carrie in the trash though. Fortunately, his wife took it out of the trash and convinced King to try again.
-------------------
A patient spouse is also a good thing for a writer to have...

Monday, March 28, 2011

Poem: "We Must Support Our Troops"

Inspired by this article:

A.R.Yngve
WE MUST SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

We must support our troops!
Support support support!
Because they protect us!
Protect protect protect!
from Fear!
Fear! Fear! Fear!
Our Troops!
Troops! Troops! Troops!
Fear! Fear! Fear!
Our Men!
Our manly manly manly men!
Manly manly manly murder manly
manly manly female manly manly
manly manly manly target manly
manly manly bullet manly manly
manly manly goggles manly manly
manly manly Viagra manly manly
manly manly manly manly men!
Troops! Troops! Troops!
If you don't support our troops
If you won't support our troops
If you don't shout support our troops
then you are not a manly manly
manly manly manly manly
manly manly manly man!
With a manly manly manly
manly manly manly gun!
And we must support Our Troops!
Our! Our! Our!
Flag! Flag! Flag!
Wave the flag!
Wave! Wave! Wave! Wave!
Beat the drum!
Beat! Beat! Beat! Beat!
Win the hearts! Win the minds!
Win! Win! Win! Win!
You must win every little one of them
The little twisted minds of Our Troops, troops, troops
Tell them that they won! Won! Won! Won!
When they come home
Come! Come! Come! Come!
Home! Home! Home! Home!
if they come
into our towns
into our homes
into our daughters
To support Our Troops
To protect us
Us! Us! Us!
from Them!
Them! Them! Them!
Our Troops!
Troops! Troops! Troops!
For they protect us!
Against Them!
Them! Them! Them!
THEM!
-----------------

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Alfred Bester Speaks!

By way of Frederik Pohl's blog, comes this fascinating transcript of a conversation between two all-time greats of science-fiction literature -- Alfred Bester and Frederik Pohl:

Alfred Bester and Frederik Pohl — The Conversation

Frederik Pohl has written one of my favorite novels, THE SPACE MERCHANTS. Alfred Bester wrote what I still consider one of the very best SF novels of all time, THE STARS MY DESTINATION.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

"Every man is wealthy in storyland!" Or: The Hatred Of Money Implicit In Fiction

Priceless comment in Nick Mamatas' blog:

silviamg notes:
Everyone is wealthy in storyland! 

Livia Llewellyn corrects her:
"Every man is wealthy in storyland!"


They put the finger on the central issue with so much fantasy fiction (and fiction in general):

The big "escapism"/"flight of fancy" part isn't that the protagonist visits The Land of Oz... or finds a magical power ring... or anything like that... but that he (it's usually a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) doesn't have to worry about, handle, or be dependent on money.

There's of course the blatantly racist aspect of this cliché: Too many fictional stories implicitly tell us that if you're a WASP, you're automatically wealthy. If you're not... well, then you simply do not exist. You're erased from the fictional world. Naturally, this is an insult to the great majority of humanity who are neither White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant nor wealthy.

But others have argued better about the implicit racism in fiction. I think there's also a deeper issue behind it. I am convinced that racism as a historical phenomenon is mainly profit-motivated. Racism was constructed around slavery to justify the profits of slavery, not the other way around.

So let's "follow the money" and see where it leads...

I ask you: Why does so much fantasy fiction feature characters who live in a world like our own, except it's untouched by money? 
Have you ever asked yourself: All these people in TV shows, when do they work?  For a wage?
(The exception would be cop shows: policemen, as shown on TV, do nothing but work. But they mostly seem suspiciously well-off, as if they didn't have to worry about their meager police wages.)

If you're wondering what I mean, come on: Who pays for your electricity, housing, car, food, education, social standing... or even your elected politicians? None of us can "stand apart" from capitalism. We are marinated in it.

So why doesn't much fantasy fiction glorify the adventure, excitement and fancy of Capitalism? (Except the fantasy fiction of Ayn Rand, maybe...)

I arrive at the possible explanation that people have a desperate need to dream themselves away from our money-oriented society.

I'm not really sure what that means, but it could mean that somewhere, deep down, most of us hate money. Not just on the level of envy (that someone, somewhere has More Stuff Than You) but the system of money itself.

Communism is dead, stone dead -- I never believed in it, despite some pathetic attempts to make us kids growing up in 1970s Sweden think that life in Cuba or China or the Soviet Union was good.

But clearly, I detect from the fantasy fiction of today -- the dreams of our society -- this persistent and deep unease with money, the medium of exchange that makes capitalism possible. We want to wish it away, pretend that money doesn't exist.

There should be a fairly easy way to test this hypothesis. Watch a whole day's worth of TV shows, or read a whole novel by some very popular writer, and count
1) The number of times someone buys or sells something in the story, plus
2) The number of times actual money is described or shown in the story.

I assure you, you will find that money is rarely shown or described. (The exception is the cliché of "dirty" money: cash stacked into an attache case in a drug deal, stolen money, or otherwise ill-gained.)

In medieval Europe, money was considered unclean. A whole social class, the Jews, was "condemned" by Christian society to be the despised money-lenders. And the resulting hatred mixed with confused envy felt by the Christians, went so deep it probably culminated in the Holocaust. That's what the feelings nurtured by money can produce: that much hate.

But the Medieval scheme to banish money from society didn't last; the lure of money proved irresistible even to the Catholic Church. Soon enough the Church was raking it in, selling tickets to Paradise to believers, which angered Martin Luther and triggered the Reformation -- and the 30 Years War.

Conclusion: Our hatred of money -- actually amplified by the bottomless greed for it -- persists to this day.
Right now, everyone knows that greed is threatening to tear apart the very fabric of the global economy (have you been watching the news lately?). And the problems caused by money is a daily complaint on all levels of society.

So should fantasy fiction (virtually all fiction, regarding the subject of money) deal with this, confront the issue of money, or continue to dance around it?

I could go on, but I don't have enough money to do so...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Nick Mamatas Gives Advice To Newbie Writers

Choice quote from Nick's blog:
----------------------
Actually, after the moment when one has eliminated all the usual tyro errors—POV shifts at inappropriate moments, tantalizing the reader from the beginning, keeping unusual dialogue tags to a minimum—about 90% of the battle for a writer is to eliminate the need for external validation.

Of course, plenty of writers, some even quite good, remain desperately hungry for external validation, but sooner rather than later they either burn out or end up with a bunch of material they ultimately regret writing or that goes OP forever when some fad passes.

----------------------

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Nurglon(r) Demands Ban On All Non-Cthulhu Worshippers Near "Ground Zero"


POX News, Aug.10, 2010: Nurglon(r), the hundred-eyed, many-armed Thing From Beyond which emerged in Alaska and ran for President in the 2008 elections, currently the leader of the Rage Party (formerly the Republican Party), has finally made a public statement on the "Cordoba Center" controversy.

Since leading Rage Party members began a campaign against the construction of a mosque two blocks from the site of the former World Trade Center, Nurglon has been strangely silent on the issue.

This prompted talk radio host and Rage Party leadership contender Rash Limburger to recently claim that "Nurglon is soft on terrorism." Limburger has since disappeared, and Rage Party spokesperson Dick Flack claims that "Nurglon did not eat Limburger, honestly, cheese gives her gases".

But today, Nurglon broke her/its silence and made a lengthy official statement to the media:

Nurglon: THE CORDOBA CENTER MUST BE STOPPED, AND SO MUST ALL UN-AMERICAN PLACES OF WORSHIP NEAR THE SACRED, HOLY, SUPERGOSHDARNAMERICAN PLACE CALLED "GROUND ZERO".

AS YOU KNOW, ONLY AMERICANS WERE KILLED IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER ATTACKS OF 9/11... PURE, WHITEBREAD, APPLE PIE-EATING, GOD-FEARING AMERICANS. NO SWARTHY, BEARDED HEATHENS EVER SOILED THE PURE, ETHEREAL SPIRES OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER.

SO, IN ORDER TO SHOW PROPER GOSHDARN RESPECT FOR THE SACRED GROUND ZERO, WE MUST BAN ALL HEATHEN WORSHIPPERS AROUND IT, AND ON THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN.


POX News: Do you mean Muslims, Nurglon?

N: I MEAN ALL WHO DO NOT BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP GREAT CTHULHU... AND CTHULHU'S MISTRESS... LITTLE OLD ME!

THEN, WHEN ALL THOSE WHO LIVE AROUND THE SACRED GROUND ZERO BOW DOWN BEFORE THEIR ONE AND TRUE MASTER, THEN AND ONLY THEN CAN THE WORLD BE CLEANSED IN RIVERS OF BLO... I MEAN, ONLY THEN THE TRUE, WHITE, APPLE PIE-EATING AMERICANS CAN LIVE SAFE AND SECURE, DARN IT.

Nurglon then paraded before the media her/its adorable 50-armed offspring H'Thffluh, before leaving.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Do Fiction Writers Have Moral Duties?

I ask you: Do fiction writers have moral duties?

1. Ah, but whose morals?
- A problem arises, in my view, when the most reactionary reader/critic/person demands that only his morals should be applied to literature. That is how we get absurd censorship cases where prissy people try to remove Shakespeare or Mark Twain from public libraries.

2. And duties to whom
- To the person who actually reads the work? Or to every potential reader?
The second demand is sometimes made in the real world, but it is an absurd one. You cannot tailor every story to suit every 4-year-old reader who might come across it.
(Picture, if you can, a nightmare world where all the classics of literature have been rewritten for small children and that's all there is.)
People choose what to read. With choice comes the freedom not to read.

3. And shouldn't readers share the responsibility for how books are read and used?
Readers read, and they interpret the text (despite what fundamentalists will tell you, there is more than one way to read the meaning of a story)... so if writers are responsible for their words, then readers are responsible too.

I feel that I have some moral duties as a fiction writer. But I only have my conscience to guide me in this area.
My conscience tells me:
- Do not glorify evil
- Be honest
- Try to rise about primitive thinking and willful ignorance
- Avoid rigid dogma or fanaticism - people are more important than ideas

- Do not suck up to power

But you may think, why should writers worry about these things? Are stories really that much of a big deal?

Oh yes. The surest way -- perhaps the only way -- to get into a person's mind is to tell her a story. When writing was new, it frightened people: they saw its power to influence the minds of others, how it could move one person's thoughts into another person's head.
Since we take writing for granted now, we may have lost that insight.

A folk singer put the slogan "This Machine Kills Fascists" on his guitar. I might as well put a slogan on my PC or notepad: "This Machine Goes Straight Into Your Brain."

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Nurglon Proposes Sending "Hate Boat" Convoy To Palestine, Israel


POX News, June 04, 2010:

The resident Rage Party leader and Folksy Thing From Beyond, Nurglon (r) responded today to the aftermath of the "Ship To Gaza" shootings, in a statement to POX News:

Nurglon: I CONDEMN THE USE OF DEADLY FORCE AGAINST THE AID CONVOY -- THE FORCE WAS WAS NOT DEADLY ENOUGH! THERE WERE SURVIVORS! I WOULD HAVE USED A TACTICAL NUKE. BECAUSE, GOSH! I'M A MAVERICK!

POX News: Will the tragic incident lead to any sort of change in the current stalemate between Israel and the Palestinians?

N: GOLLY, NO! SO WHAT IS NEEDED IS ANOTHER AID CONVOY TO BOTH GAZA AND ISRAEL. A HATE BOAT! I WILL PERSONALLY GATHER THE RESOURCES TO SEND MORE HATE TO BOTH PARTIES, AND SEAL THEIR MANIFEST DESTINY. YOU BETCHA!

P: What do you mean by their "manifest destiny", Nurglon?

N: TO DIE IN A CAULDRON OF NUCLEAR FIRE WHICH WILL GROW, AND GROW, AND CONSUME THIS PITIFUL PLANET. AIN'T POLITICS, LIKE, FUN? GOSH!

Nurglon then interrupted the interview, and paraded before the media her/its latest offspring -- the adorable thing called H'Thffluh, which was born with the severe handicap of only having 50 eyes.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

NURGLON SLAMS PRESIDENT'S FINANCIAL REFORM BID, PRESENTS OWN SWEEPING REFORM PACKAGE

POX News, Washington, D.C., April 22:
POX News reporter Bill Hairdo has had a brief Q & A with Rage Party leader Nurglon, where she/it outlined a response to President Obama's finance reform bid:

Bill Hairdo: Nurglon, how do you react to worries that another big bank failure might cripple the economy, repeating history, if nothing is done about limiting the size of banks?

Nurglon: I AM AGAINST LIMITING THE SIZE OF ANYTHING! I MUST GROW, AND GROW, AND PRODUCE MORE OF MY SPAWN TO ENGULF THIS PITIFUL PLANET!

B: But how will that stance go down with small-town America?

N: SMALL-TOWN AMERICA WILL GO DOWN INSIDE ME! HA HA HA!

B: Critics accuse your party, the Repu... sorry, the Rage Party, of being in the pockets of the financial sector...

N: SO? WHAT IS WRONG WITH BLIND OBEDIENCE TO POWER? ALL-AMERICAN, PATRIOTIC, FAMILY-VALUES-FRIENDLY, GOD-FEARING, PRO-MILITARY POWER. GOSHDARN IT.

B: So your party will do nothing?

N: OF COURSE NOT! BY GOLLY! WE SHALL SEIZE POWER TO PUSH THROUGH OUR OWN FINANCIAL REFORM PACKAGE!

B: Tell us more.

N: FIRST, AS I'VE MENTIONED BEFORE, THE DOLLAR WILL BE REPLACED WITH THE CURRENCY OF BLOOD. SECOND, THE BIGGEST BANKS WILL BE GIVEN FREE REIGN TO TRADE AND SELL THE GREAT UNTAPPED AMERICAN RESOURCE.

B: Offshore oil?

N: THE POOR.

B: And by "the poor," you mean...

N: THE UNEMPLOYED! FOR STARTERS! THEN... WE'LL REDEFINE "POVERTY" ALONG A SLIDING SCALE.

B: Wait a minute... do you propose we reinstate slavery??

N: OF COURSE NOT! THAT WOULD BE WRONG! AMERICANS ARE TOO LAZY AND UNRELIABLE TO MAKE GOOD SLAVES! WE TRADE THEIR BLOOD AND ORGANS INSTEAD.

B: In your reform package, what about boosting trade exports, for instance to China?

N: WHEN I CLEANSE THE WORLD FROM TERROR WITH TORRENTS OF NUCLEAR FIRE, FOREIGN TRADE WILL CEASE TO BE AN ISSUE.

B: Wouldn't global war put a strain on the already strained U.S. budget?

N: ANYONE WHO TALKS ABOUT NUMBERS AND BUDGETS IS AN ELITIST SOCIALIST UN-AMERICAN SECRET MUSLIM WITH A FALSE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

B: Thank you, Nurglon.

N:
BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP NURGLON, MISTRESS OF GREAT CTHULHU! YOU MAY KISS ONE OF MY TENTACLES.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Nurglon (r) Unveils New Midterm Campaign Poster

POX News, April 8:  
Nurglon (r), self-appointed new leader of the Rage Party (formerly the Republican Party), presented today her/its new campaign poster for the 2010 midterm elections:



The new slogans appear made to match Nurglon's endorsement of the Pope and are consistent with her/its previous stance on waterboarding and war.

When asked about the new slogan "MORE Nuclear Weapons," Nurglon responded to POX News:

Nurglon: THE SHINING ONE'S DISARMAMENT AGREEMENT WITH RUSSIA MUST BE REVERSED! SUCH UNPATRIOTIC SOCIALIST DEFEATISM IS UN-AMERICAN... AND WORSE, IT MOVES THIS PITIFUL PLANET ONE STEP AWAY FROM THE ANNIHILATION OF THIS WEAK, DESPICABLE HUMAN RACE.

POX News: Don't you think the goal of "annihilation of the human race" might alienate many voters?


N: NOT AT ALL! THE POPE HAS PROMISED MY GOD-FEARING VOTERS SALVATION ON JUDGMENT DAY! ALONG WITH EVERY SINGLE BISHOP AND PRIEST! HA HA HAAAA!